Once your small bundle of joy comes home and the adrenalin of childbirth subsides, sleep deprivation is likely to be your new state of being. It’s tough when the realisation sets in that this tired fog is not transient—instead it’s your new view on the world. 

As new parents, it’s difficult to let go of the need to control and relax the ‘too much to do mentality’. Remember to be kind to yourself and to sleep when your baby does. While we all wish we were superwoman, staying on top of the washing and making gourmet meals—which can be challenging at the best of times—it’s important to realise your new priority is learning what makes your baby work.


A critical milestone for many new parents is the process of building confidence in the newly acquired title. Often loved ones share their advice on how they did things, suggesting how you should do it to. While they’re all golden gems to have on file, the truth is it’s the diving into the ‘doing’ that’s the quickest method to connect with your bub and build confidence. As you focus on your baby—feeding them, changing them, noticing their preferences, their sounds, singing and holding them close—you will feel your confidence grow. Building the bond is critical for both mum and any other caregiver. There’s no quicker realisation of the notion of team than childbirth. Having your other half there, sharing the journey and learning with you, is both challenging and comforting. Remember to laugh; sometimes in the tired fog and struggling with new skills, a little laughter can put life back into perspective for a couple.

New baby’s sleep a great deal when they first arrive home but by week two, they’re certainly making their presence known. As you learn to understand the nuances in the tone of their cry, you’ll quickly acquire the best methods to soothe them—swaddling, singing, patting, the sound of your vacuum, (you may laugh but try it). Be open to testing them all until you find the right rituals for your bub.
In that first week, give your partner and yourself the right to space. The world does not need to visit in those first few days. While every friend or long lost family member loves a newborn cuddle, it’s ok to define a shortlist of people you want to see, as you learn how this new role fits. People respect this.

Each week spent with your little one will get easier. Take a moment and realise that everything difficult will pass. Be confident that you will learn how your baby works. Be assured they will love you unconditionally and know they will laugh about the ‘learning how to be a mum stories’ you tell them when they grow up. Newborn milestones are also new-parent milestones and finding out what makes the quirky balance of life that defines ‘family’.

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